im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
