I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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