Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
