Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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