I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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