You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
