Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize