You made me cry and you don't even care
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she told me i tasted like america
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
