He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
