She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We are all done wearing pants today
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
