Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
