i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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