I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
So here I am, sexting at work.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
