Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
