Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
