dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
