you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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