Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
