we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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