We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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