I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
