Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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