I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
