Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
ttyl tear gas
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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