His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize