i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
you never un-have a 4some
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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