It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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