i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
