I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
