8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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