The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
