How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
