That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
