she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
