Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
