Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize