someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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