i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize