I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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