The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
