Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I still have a little drunk in my system
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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