Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I need water and some morals
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
