Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
