hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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