Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You smell like stripper and shame
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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