two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
