im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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