i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
