And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
