i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
