It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I need moral support for this bender
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
my poor anus
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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