and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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