i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
