I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
