I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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