dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
