I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
